Mi angel. It’s one of the many affectionate names my mother has for me, and it also happens to be one of my favorites. As a younger child, I was very curious: a human, infant embodiment of Curious George. And much like Curious George, it landed me in some…peculiar…situations, if you will. My mother loved my curiosity, but not everyone saw it in the same motherly spirit. They viewed my inquisitive spirit in a different light and called me un diablito, or “little devil” (equivalent to calling a child a “little troublemaker”). They did so with no malicious intent, simply making reference to my inclination toward so-called mischief. Still, my mother wouldn’t have any of this, and in response she began calling me “mi angel” (my angel).
I have my fair share of names besides mi angel, each with a story and meaning behind it. My kiddos call me Papa; my students call me Mr. Fajardo or Mr. F (or some, Mr. Fajitas); most everybody else calls me Santi; and there’s a host of other names that have come and gone with time. Each one of my names has emerged from some part of my lived experiences (my relationships, interests, profession, etc.), and as such, my names do not merely refer to me; they reflect my life back onto me like a mirror, and they show me who I am. They express my identity. This is especially the case with my birth name. I am my name; I am Santiago.
Yet, in two weeks at my confirmation, I will have received a new name. That of my intercessor and father in the faith, St. Augustine. And while receiving this name means gaining a new identity, it also means losing an old one. Becoming Agustín means I will cease to be Santiago. I shall lose my old name…and with it, my identity, my life as I know it. I grieve this impending loss. Some days I even fear it. Second-guess it. But I nevertheless commit to this loss trusting in the word of Christ: If I lose my life for his sake, he has promised that I will find it anew in his Kingdom. So, I shall suffer this momentary grief (in joy and in hope) because of the greater thing I stand to gain: an imperishable, undefiled, and unfading inheritance in heaven, the salvation of my soul.
Pray for me, O holy St. Augustine; that, as you have been counted worthy of attaining everlasting life in heaven by a faithful service to God on earth, I too may attain by the humility of this present life the exaltation of everlasting life in heaven.
My prayer Santi is that, the truth will set you free. his word never return void...and Holy, only our Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. May our Heavenly Father in His grace, take away all spiritual deafness and blindness. 🙏🏻💕